Hello all! I’m here to write a comprehensive restroom review for you. Now I know you’re thinking “why would you do that?” Well, first of all, stop hypothetically questioning me in my own article. It’s rude. Second of all, it seemed like a funny idea. Third of all, struggling with the bathrooms on campus is almost universal when it comes to college. At some point in your tenure at this institution you WILL need do something that you CANNOT do while someone else is showering (for your own sake as well as theirs).
Now I need you to bear with me as I write this bathroom review, as surprisingly this kind of thing doesn’t really exist. Even on the internet! I know, I was surprised too. It did exist on the internet at one point but has been since scrubbed clean. So, for me it’s a bit like trying to write a restaurant review, but there’s no existing record of what a restaurant review might look like.
Okay! Let’s get started.
Welsh Hall Bathroom 2nd Floor
As to avoid confusion since the basement is technically the “first” floor, the bathroom to which I am referring is next door to the piano room. Now this bathroom is not going to be one of the well-kept secrets of this campus; I’m not giving you any insider knowledge (that’ll come later). Rather than drag this restroom down with negatives, let’s talk about what it’s got going for it.
You’d be hard pressed to find a more private pissoir on campus. One room, no stalls, sturdy handrail, LOTS of room. Heck, I wonder if it’s not some kind of journalistic crime that I didn’t measure the room so I could give you the exact stats. A good-sized mirror, over a large flat sink, perfect for holding your phone or your purse while you wash your hands. Paper towels! Never thought I’d have to start putting those in as a positive on this campus. I had assumed that paper towels were a given, but all the restrooms in the new buildings just have that one single, pathetic Toto hand dryer. I don’t like leaving places with damp hands, so Welsh gets some points for that. Also, a hook on the door that can hold a decent amount of weight.
Now onto the negatives; there were bound to be some. The three most important factors to me in these reviews are privacy, cleanliness, and hours. Welsh loses some SERIOUS points on hours. I can’t deduct too much because I don’t have explicit proof of the Welsh Hall bathrooms even having hours; there was a time my sophomore year where I was very much aware that the Welsh bathrooms were closed in the evenings. The building no longer seems to close the bathrooms at night. I checked a few days last week and this week and they appeared to be left unlocked well past 9 pm.
For cleanliness, Welsh neither gains nor loses points. I’ve seen the bathroom in a varying number of states without any discerning pattern to the mess or lack for thereof. Acoustics are also a problem for Welsh. While the single room and lock give you absolute privacy, the acoustics of the room make it seem like an illusion. Sound from the common room travels very easily into the space and leaves you feeling like you’ve got a waiting room or an audience. My recommendation is bringing headphones if you can. On the bright side, I was nervous that the sound was a two-way thing, and that any small noise could be heard by the people in the hallway or common room. In my anxiety I decided to run a test. Leaving my phone running a song at a medium volume on the sink, I stepped outside to see what could be heard through the door. No sound carried! I could barely make out the song playing even with my ear pressed against the door (I’m sure I looked a sight).
Décor is also an issue with Welsh. It’s hilarious but also uncomfortable: a poor choice of mirror layout means that if you are sitting (as a lot of people tend to need to do in a restroom) you will be looking straight into a mirror opposite yourself. It’s very uncomfortable to have to accidentally look yourself in the eyes. I again would recommend bringing headphones and a phone into this restroom situation.
Overall I would say that, despite everything, I would give the Welsh 2nd floor bathroom a 7/10.
Photo credit: Goucher College Virtual Tour (accessed through a google search)