“Ne’daj, Ne’daj!” Ma calls from the front door.
You take one last shot. The ball swooshes into the net. Catching it, you turn towards her, breath heaving in the cold air. “Yeah?”
“Come inside! I heard thumping in the attic.”
You nod and stuff the ball into a pile of snow. Perks of living in the middle of nowhere: it’s safe to leave stuff outside.
“Alright, Ma,” you say, following her inside. “I’ll check it out.”
“Be careful.”
You tramp through the hall, tracking snow in behind you. The attic door unhinges from the ceiling with a light tug. Stairs drop down, leading into inky black darkness. You walk up with no hesitation. You’re 6’2”, what can hurt you?
The attic is crowded with boxes holding all your old sports equipment. You’d been around a few courts over the years, but ol b-ball was the one that always stuck.
But something’s wrong. Something rustles in the back, hidden in the gloom. Frowning, you pick up a bat. “Better not be a rat eating my little league cleats back there!” you growl.
The rustling pauses, then continues with frantic energy. You push aside a couple boxes and lo and behold, a giant, hairy rat is hunched over, stuffing its face with something.
“Hey! Quit that!”
The rat squeals as it drops its meal. But it wasn’t shoes–it was Adam Smith’s An Inquiry into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Nations.
“What on–agh!”
The rat darts toward you. You swing the bat wildly at the ground, but it hops over. It rushes for your leg, and before you can jump away, its fangs sink into your flesh. Hot searing pain flashes through you.
“Gaaah!” you scream, kicking your leg out. That throws it off, and the creature scuttles away into the dark.
You bend to assess the damage when a strange sensation passes over you. The burning heat in your calf rises. It envelops you, numbing you to the world. Finally, it reaches your brain. The seconds strength into eternity until the heat dies away.
You’re hit with ice cold clarity that capitalism leads to prosperity. Dropping the bat, you rush down the attic stairs.
“Ma! I know what I’m gonna study in college now!”
“That’s great, honey, but what was in the attic?”
You smile at her. “Enlightenment.”
By Jaiden Johnson ‘27
Featured Image Source: Samuel Rose
