The independent student newspaper at Goucher College

Bathroom Break


“Little John” Flusher 

Edition 4

Huebeck Multipurpose Room: ★★★★

Dear reader,

It has long since been customary for one to require some sort of reading material to accompany them on particularly long trips to the loo. In decades passed, the frequent choice of entertainment was the daily paper. With the advent of the modern day telephone, that practice has faded into obscurity. However, it has become no less important for one to be educated in the variations of restroom quality, so that one can make the vanguard selection for location to do said business. With that in mind, we have taken it upon ourselves to present to you, dear reader, our rankings of the most proper, and the most horrid, of all the restrooms on this fine establishment’s property, so that you may have the best bathroom experience possible. 

If one doesn’t reside within the rambling halls of the Huebeck dorm complex, they’d find themselves unfamiliar with what lies within. While access to the dorm halls is restricted by key card access, any citizen can enter the building through the entrance by the Student Health Center. Within that lobby one would find a set of stairs leading up to what is, deceptively, called Huebeck’s third floor. On this floor is the Huebeck multipurpose room, across from which lies a little-known restroom, which provides a bathroom experience that far outranks knowledge of the place.  

The process of getting to this commode may be tedious, but for the user seeking heightened privacy, it is seldom beaten. This loo is relatively secluded; few make the voyage required to use it, likely due to limited knowledge of such a place. In our experience, you can count on using this loo in solitude four out of five times, a ratio we find worth the extra travel. It’s relatively small, containing only two stalls, though that matters significantly less due to its low traffic. One can generally count on the latrine being stocked with toilet tissue, though paper towel supplies are less reliable. This lavatory is accessible via elevator, and has a large handicap stall, making it friendly to those with disabilities. If one is able to get access into this bathroom, we highly recommend doing so. 

On grounds of size, accessibility, cleanliness, and privacy, we rate the Huebeck Multipurpose Room bathroom a four stars; a rating representative of its merit despite its distance from common activity sites. 

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