The independent student newspaper at Goucher College

Remember When Lil Nas X was Dropping Hits?


Hi, we’re Tniya and Aess. Well… yes. This issue’s playlist is a tribute to unrecognized talent, the world famous pop star: Lil Nas X. You’ve followed him from his smash hit Oldtown Horse; you loved him through his collab with Jackson Hartholemew, Industry Toddler; but are you a true fan? We have compiled the early, underground efforts of Mr. Lil that people seldom know about. 

  • Year 3000 by The Jonas Brothers; The neighbor called Peter that the Jonas Brothers ran into, was actually a young Little Nas, (no X yet) having just finished his first ever time machine. This allowed the Jonas Brothers to travel to the year 3000 in which everything is underwater. 
  • WAVE by Ateez; A little known fact is that Lil Nas X was actually the voice of Timon, not award-winning actor Nathan Lane. Ateez loved the cinematic masterpiece – specifically Lil Nas’ fantastic vocal skills – so much that they were moved to include the Swahili phrase, Hakuna Matata, in this summer-y song.
  • Don’t Ya Wish U Were Us by MUDSLIDE CRUSH; It is pretty well known that everyone wishes they were Lil Nas X. The original working title for the song was actually Don’t Ya Wish U Were Nas, but then Sir X lightly suggested they sing the song as if they were him, thus changing the final word to the first person plural pronoun.
  • MMMBop by Hanson; A baby Lil (no Nas yet) inspired this 90’s hit with his genius, babbling gibberish. Coincidentally, this onomatopoeia can be used to describe every song Lil Nas X has ever released. 
  • Big Foot – A Cappella by Nicki Minaj; Another well kept secret: Lil Nas X actually designed the icon for the voice memos app, which is the exact image that Nicki Minaj had to click on in order to collect her thoughts during her 4 minute and 22 seconds of Big Foot…unfortunately his talent doesn’t rub off on everyone. 
  • Equal Rights by The Lonely Island; Lil Nas X is a queer icon in music, inspiring others to create songs to enact change of their own. Even if they are staunchly Not Gay.
  • Pillow Talking by Lil Dicky; Lil Nas X was actually the one who taught Lil Dicky about Pangaea. Neither of them, in fact, fuck with the war.
  • Exceptional by China Anne McClain; One time Lil Nas X breathed and everyone in a 6-mile radius fainted in awe. In 2011, Disney, too nervous to ask him to write a song for their new show, decided to dedicate this track to him. He will truly, forever be remembered as exceptional.

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