The independent student newspaper at Goucher College

Bathroom Break


Edition 04

Dorsey Center, Lower Floor: ★★★★1/2 

Dear reader,

It has long since been customary for one to require some sort of reading material to accompany them on particularly long trips to the loo. In decades passed, the frequent choice of entertainment was the daily paper. With the advent of the modern day telephone, that practice has faded into obscurity. However, it has become no less important for one to be educated in the variations of restroom quality, so that one can make the vanguard selection for location to do said business. With that in mind, we have taken it upon ourselves to present to you, dear reader, our rankings of the most proper, and the most horrid, of all the restrooms on this fine establishment’s property, so that you may have the best bathroom experience possible. 

This week, we look at the facilities located on the lower floor of the Dorsey Center. This depot is quite strange in several ways; as pictured above, within the corridor is a bizarre closet of sorts, and a shelving system where various accouterments are provided. The sinks are placed at a uniquely low height, as though they were perhaps intended for small children. However, the facilities are clean and well-stocked, and most important, secluded. Knowledge of these loos are sparse among the general population at Goucher, and this combined with the remote location and seclusion of this hallway provides a sublime feeling of privacy. A handicap bathroom is located a few feet down the hallway. Overall, the experience within these loos, while strange, is top notch – if not for the weirdness, we’d grant these full marks. 

On grounds of size, accessibility, cleanliness, and privacy, we rate the bathrooms in the Dorsey Center four and a half stars. 

By “Little John” Flusher

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