The Porta-Potties: ★★★
It has long since been customary for one to require some sort of reading material to accompany them on particularly long trips to the loo. In decades passed, the frequent choice of entertainment was the daily paper. With the advent of the modern day telephone, that practice has faded into obscurity. However, it has become no less important for one to be educated in the variations of restroom quality, so that one can make the vanguard selection for location to do said business. With that in mind, we have taken it upon ourselves to present to you, dear reader, our rankings of the most proper, and the most horrid, of all the restrooms on this fine establishment’s property, so that you may have the best bathroom experience possible.
On grounds of size, accessibility, cleanliness, and privacy, we rate the Mary FIsher lower floor bathrooms three and a half stars.
By “Little John” Flusher