Which CPE Section Should You Take A Class In?



Photo credit: https://thegouchereye.com/2017/03/24/update-on-gouchers-curriculum-change/

The Academic Policies Committee doesn’t seem to know, so take this quiz to find out!

  1. It’s seventy degrees outside and there’s a hammock available right in the bright sun. But you have a paper due next week that you really need to spend some time working on. Do you…
    • a) Grab that hammock! Who cares about the essay, there will be time to write it later tonight when the sun is gone. Besides, the hammock is the perfect accessory for your newest Facebook profile picture.
    • b) Grab the hammock but decide to do some essay work while laying down. You know how to allocate your time, and besides, grades are an antiquated social construct anyway.
    • c) Go inside. There’s internet.
    • d) Stay outside but don’t do your homework. There are mice around that are more interesting to watch than trying to figure out MLA formatting…
  2. There’s a pop-up record album sale outside of Mary Fisher during your only free hour before lunch. But you’re also supposed to meet up with a group to work on a project. Do you…
    • a) Browse for a while! Giving your dorm a good vibe on your electric record player is more important than a group project.
    • b) Browse, then try to figure out a way to barter the salesman down to a cheaper price. Whoever said theoretical business skills would never come in handy?
    • c) Go work on the group project and if you finish early, you can come back and look at what they’re selling. Talking about your ideas is just as fun as jamming out!
    • d) Who needs music when there’s a perfectly good carpenter bee hive outside of Van Meter that you can listen to? Buzz buzz…
  3. There’s a long line at Alice’s, and they’re about to close for afternoon break. But you badly need an Athenaeum drink before finding an empty study room and cranking out a review assignment. Do you…
    • a) Take a picture of the whole line for your Snapchat story with the caption “:(“.
    • b) Trick question—you never go to Alice’s. It’s more cheap and ethical to make your own coffee in your room in your reusable cup.
    • c) While in line, jot down a quick poem about how waiting makes you feel. Make sure to capture the correct smell of the coffee beans, the exact sound of the bean grinder.
    • d) Pass out a quick survey to everyone else in the line, telling them it’ll only take a few seconds and that you badly need the data for a class project. You never know when you’ll need data like this.
  4. You told your friends you’d go to the a cappella show at night but your RA has called a last-minute hall meeting to talk about cleaning the floor kitchen. Do you…
    • a) Tell your RA that you can’t make it and go to the performance. Showing up for the arts is one of the most impactful things you can do.
    • b) Go to the hall meeting. Living communally is all about everyone doing their fair part, and you have some suggestions for your RA about how to better implement a fair cleaning system.
    • c) Use the a cappella show as an excuse not to go to the RA meeting, and the RA meeting as an excuse not to go to the show. Stay in bed and read.
    • d) Go to the hall meeting, but only because that mold growing in the sink looks pretty freaky…
  5. You didn’t have time to complete a reading reflection (or do the reading at all…) but your friend did it in advance and says they’ll send you their work. Do you…
    • a) Ask them to do a performative dance rendition of the reading assignment. Their interpretation of the words into movement will help you better understand the themes.
    • b) Do a quick analysis to see what percentage of copying words can be copied before you lose market equilibrium and the professor finds out.
    • c) Whoever said anything in writing is original thought? Use your friend’s assignment as inspiration to write your own—it’s not copying, it’s an artistic reinterpretation.
    • d) What type of reflection is this? Where is the scientific evidence? These claims are unsupportable and your friend isn’t even citing reliable sources.


Mostly As: Take a CPEA! You are artsy, experimental, and spontaneous. You would love taking a photography, music, theater, or art class.

Mostly Bs: Take a CPEB! You seem to be organized and sure about what you want. Think about taking a business, anthropology, or psych class.

Mostly Cs: Take a CPEC! You’re a reader or a writer or someone who just loves words. Try out a humanities class, whether it be English, history, or peace studies.

Mostly Ds: Take a CPED! You obviously have a taste for the natural, and you love observing or learning about the world around you. You should take a natural sciences class, such as ecology or biology.

Anya Schwartz is the editor for the Fiction section of the Q. She is a second year English with a Concentration in Creative Writing and Mathematics double major, and she is from Brooklyn, New York.

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